Understanding Divorce in Biblical Context

If you would open your Bibles to Deuteronomy chapter 24, I want to begin with verse 1. I need to focus for a moment on what this passage is. I've done it different times with the Old Testament, but I want you to see the perspective of what the Bible is doing. The Old Testament is the foundation stone on which Christianity is built. It's not the finished product, for Jesus said He came to fulfill the law, but what He did was He came to say, here's what the Old Testament says, and this is what it means, and this is how you put it in practice. That was really what He was doing. Jesus did not initiate something radically new and different. In fact, He said, I've come to make sure that not one single thing in the law is removed. Now they did remove the sacrifices, the temple was removed, but all that tells us is that these things were not essential to what was found in the Old Testament. The principle behind the temple and the sacrifices still exist, for Jesus could not have said that He came to fulfill every single bit of it. He was not talking about every action in the Old Testament, but the principles underlying everything that was required. So when we look back and see these things in the Old Testament that were removed or not emphasized in the New Testament, we have to see what was a guiding spiritual principle behind that issue. And when we find that, we'll see that the same thing is really true in the New Testament. Also we see something about God. This is how God thinks His creation ought to live. All these instructions are telling us how God wants us to live. I don't know what heaven is going to be like, but it's hard for me to imagine that God has gone to all the trouble to teach us in the Old Testament and the New Testament how to live and heaven is going to be any different than this. The same principles that God finds valuable in us today and in the Old Testament, I'm sure He will find valuable to us in heaven. What people have in their own mind and imagination about heaven is, I'm going to get up there, I'm going to have a big two-story mansion, I'm going to have a swing on the porch, and one of the angels is going to be feeding me grapes all day long, you know. I'm not going to have anything to do. I think that all the things that God finds valuable in this world, productive work, relationships, are going to be a part of heaven. And what He's talking about here is how He thinks His creation, human beings, should live. So these things are principles that God finds critical. So I think when this life is over, the next one will be built on these principles in the same way. The Old Testament, the New Testament, and heaven are all one stream by which God is at work creating us to do. And the more we can learn how to live this way, the more heaven will be a place in which we will find ourselves at home instead of in an alien environment. Now every one of these things He tells us has some principle behind it that He's trying to get to that will reveal something about God and something about how He wants us to act or an attitude that He wants us to live with. So chapter 24, verse 1, if a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her, and she leaves his house, she becomes the wife of another man. And her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house. Or if he dies, then her first husband who divorced her is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance. Now when Jesus is confronted with this passage in the book of Matthew and people start asking Him about it, He quotes this passage. Some Pharisees came to Him and said that lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason. Haven't you read, He replied, at the very beginning the Creator said He made them male and female and said for this reason a man will leave his father and mother, be united to his wife and the two will become one. So they're no longer two, therefore what God has joined together let no man separate. Why then, they asked, did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away? Jesus replied, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard, but it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife except for marital unfaithfulness and marries another woman commits adultery. The disciples said to Him, if this is the situation between husband and wife, it would be better not to marry. Jesus replied, not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way, others made that way by men and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. Those who, the one who can accept this should accept it. Now here what Moses is talking about in the first three verses of this is not that you can get a divorce. He is simply saying it is part of our culture, accepted as a part of the culture in the Old Testament. Now Jesus said it was done this way not because it was God's plan to do that. Nowhere in the Bible does it tell you should get a divorce or it's okay to do that. All God does in the Old Testament is say, if you're going to do it, this is the way it needs to be done. You need to make sure that you do this in a proper fashion. And how do you do this? You make sure the woman has the protection she needs. Now in this instance Moses says, when you do this, here's what needs to be done. She's displeasing to you. Now we don't know what displeasing meant to the people who heard this. This was the big debate in the New Testament. There were two schools of thought. One said, anything that a woman does that doesn't make you happy is displeasing so you can divorce her. So they said, if she burns the bread, you know, and you say, I don't like burned bread, you can divorce her because she's done something displeasing to you. The other group argued that it had to be something really serious like adultery. But the Old Testament does not make that specific in either way. It just says something, someone who's displeasing does something that is displeasing or unsatisfactory to you. And the definition of it's not given. Now maybe the people who heard this the first time knew the kind of thing that God was talking about, but it's not clear to us. There's always principle at work here. If the Bible is not clear about something, then it's not that important to us. God never gives us something that is critical that he don't give us the full instruction. So he's talking here about a situation in which the marriage finds itself at a place where the two people are not compatible with each other. Their lifestyle, especially the man's side, he had the power and authority. The man decided, I don't want to be married to this woman. Now the woman was the weaker person in this relationship because she didn't have the legal authority and power that the man had. So what Moses was doing in this situation was saying the woman is vulnerable to the situation where a man would become unhappy with her and say, I don't want her anymore. If he did this and simply divorced her, then she would appear to be to someone else, maybe a woman who'd committed adultery. So Moses gave specific instructions about how this was to be done. You find something displeasing, if you find something indecent, and again that word indecent is not defined here either. It's described, it's used in different places in the Old Testament to mean something that is offensive to God. It's used sometimes just to describe circumstances where a person does something that's unacceptable. It is not talking about adultery here because there are specific rules for adultery. If it was, I mean, if a woman commits adultery with another man, the Bible has specific instructions as to what was to be done. So if that had been the case, those instructions would have taken over here. But it's not the case. He doesn't use that instruction that Moses himself had given about adultery. So whatever it is that's unpleasant or whatever he does that is indecent, it is not that. So something that is displeasing and something that is indecent. The term indecent is most often used in the Old Testament to describe something that makes a person unclean in God's eyes. That can be almost anything. For example, if you have touched a pig, you would be in this sense indecent. If you have done something contrary to one of the laws, you would have done something indecent. So this lady may have done something that was not right. Maybe not able to bear children even. All kinds of speculation. You can take almost any place in the Bible where it says a person is unclean, touch a dead body, all those things, and it could fit here. Anyway, the man decides he doesn't like her, or that she's done something that he sees maybe as a sign that God is not with her. And in all that things, then he says, I want to divorce her. Here's what he requires. He has to give her, write out a certificate of divorce. The certificate of divorce would say I divorce you and give the reason for that divorce. So she would have in her hand a piece of paper where if she met someone and married again could say there is no accusation in my life of anything that is immoral or that would require a problem for me. Here's what he said about me. He has to physically give that to her. And then he has to order her out of the home. These specific concrete things are required that the woman now has in her hand a certificate that says why the divorce was given. The man has to confront her with this. And then she is ordered out of the house. Now, if there had been some act of adultery on her part, not only would the law have required that she would be killed for that, but also it would have been required that the bride's price would have been repaid by the father. So he's not talking here about a situation in which there was anything really immoral about the circumstance. He just decides he doesn't want her anymore. Now if after she leaves the house she becomes the wife of another man, it's possible for her to remarry. In the New Testament there's some struggle about whether or not that's possible, but here Moses gives clearance for that. She hadn't committed adultery, there's no problem on her part, she's free to be able to marry. And it's not considered here in this story an act of adultery, as it appears sometimes in the New Testament to be. And we have to reconcile what the New Testament says with the Old. So it gives us some attention that in the New Testament passage we need to be careful that God has already talked about this. And so he's given his direction that it's not necessarily immoral for her to marry. After she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man. Her second husband dislikes her, she's found the same problem again, and the certificate of divorce gives it to her and sends her from his house, the same pattern that the first husband does. Now all of this is not given to instruct about divorce. Moses is simply saying this is the way we do it. Now I want to say if this happens to a woman, and the second time it happens to her, here is the new command that he gives to her. Then the first husband who divorced her is not allowed to marry her again after she's been defiled. Now defiled, the word defiled is another reference to what is called previously indecent. She's done something that makes her unclean. So when this man has married her, she's not to be married again to her first husband, for that would be something defiling. Now what is this all about? Well remember that in the Old Testament, and when Jesus talked about this, he talked about the real meaning of marriage was a commitment to two people to each other. And it was to be a lifelong commitment. Now that's been changed by the action of one man. Now she marries another man with the intention of having that same lifelong marriage relationship, and now he divorces her. She now is in a situation where she's very, very vulnerable. First man could say, okay, I'll take you back. Now she becomes just like a pawn traded between people. Men in the biblical days had very little protection for themselves. And what the Bible here is requiring is that care be taken that a woman would not find herself in a position of being used by two men. I don't know if you read in the paper or not about in Iran, they changed the law. The law had been real old in Islam. And then they dropped this law, but recently they've changed the law so that a man can have a temporary marriage. It's against Islam to visit prostitutes, but if you meet someone, you can have a temporary marriage, which is one day or one night or two nights or a week. And then when you're through, you can get a divorce and move on. It puts women in a position of being particularly vulnerable to the people and the men around her. What Jesus here is trying to protect the woman from exactly that same situation, being passed from one man to another, to another, to another, just treated as a sexual object. He's trying to say this woman would be very vulnerable in the situation that arises. It is not to take place. He says this would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord for someone to try to do this. Do not bring this sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance. Two consequences for this kind of misuse of a woman. One is it stirs in the mind of God anger toward the persons who try to do this. Second, it brings a sin on the whole land. Now remember in the Old Testament when he's talking about on the land, he's talking about what we would say is the church. Israel had a geographical location, it's true, but they were the people of God. Among the people of God, the way we might say this, among the people of God, people who would act this way and take advantage of someone in weakness, a woman in this instance, is an offense to God and it will be a black mark on all of my people. It will be a curse to my people. Now if you look and see in history of all the nations of the world, women fare better in Christian lands than almost anywhere else in the world because from the very beginning God's intention was to say even though males have power and authority, God limits it. There are certain things you can do as a man and you cannot take advantage of women. So what we see in this story is that God is making clear that there is no one with power and authority and it could be the other way around. If women were in charge of the country and they had all the power and authority to mistreat men, it wouldn't matter, children, women, men, whoever it is. Whoever it is in this world that does not have the ability to protect themselves, God is deeply offended at people who take advantage of that power and use it to manipulate and control and hurt people who are not strong enough to resist themselves. So child pornography or child labor, all the kinds of things that would be destructive to children are all taken under this kind of category. God does not list all those things where people in weakness are dealt with, but he gives us a principle. God stands for the people who cannot help themselves. And whenever you see someone who's in a position, whether it's in a court situation or in a business where the boss is taking advantage of them, anywhere you see that taking place, if there's a follower of Christ who's doing that, they will find themselves both as an enemy of God and a smear on the kingdom of God if they claim to be a part of that kingdom. God is warning us, this is not acceptable. So be careful. Now we're not going to divorce and take advantage of women like that, but think of situations in which you have power and authority over people. If you talk to people who have ever worked as waiters or waitresses, sometimes you find people who really take advantage of the opportunity because you're a customer in their business to be mean to them, treat them badly, and take advantage of the authority and power you have over them. Any place where you have a position of authority, owner of a business, someone who runs a business, when you're a customer and the customer is always right and you take the opportunity to tell people off. Butch was telling me one time about a guy who came in there, a Christian guy, and he just was being really anxious to make Butch suffer. And you can't say anything back because it's a customer. You're at the mercy of people who simply treat you in any way that you want to. God makes it clear in His kingdom, when He's in control, that will not be acceptable and it will not be done. Now the second section of this chapter, verse 5, changes the subject a little bit. If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year, he is to be free to stay at home and to bring happiness to the wife he has married. Now in chapter 20, verses 5 through 8, Moses is dealt with a person who is newly married. The officer shall say to the army, Has anyone built a new house and not dedicated it? Let him go home, or he may die in battle and someone else dedicate it. Has anyone planted a vineyard and has not begun to enjoy it? Let him go home, or he may die in battle and someone else enjoy it. Has anyone become pledged to a woman and not married her? Let him go home, that he may not die in battle and someone else marry her. Then the officer shall add, If any man is afraid or faint-hearted, let him go home, so that his brothers will not become disheartened too. When the officers have finished speaking to the army, they shall appoint commanders over the men. From the requirement of fighting in the battle, he says a person who is newly married and has responsibilities, not settle his home down, has an obligation. Now why would the Bible point this direction? Well, there are two important things to realize in the Old Testament. One is that every male in a family had a part of the family inheritance. So the land given to your family belonged to every male. And if a man has died before he has a child, a male child particularly, but the woman child could inherit part of that ground too, then his inheritance would be lost. And the plan that God had for the care for his people, everyone would have a piece of ground to be able to ensure their financial security. That line, here's his wife, she's lost that because she's married into a different family. She no longer has someone to care for her. She no longer has the land that belonged to the husband that she married. So God is providing for that family, allowing them to get their life settled, allowing them to take things that are necessary and complete them, the vineyard, the house, and to be able to wait a year until a child is born, the opportunity for someone to be able to take care of the family in the future. Even if it's a daughter who's born, she marries, there'll be some male to take care of his wife, who's widowed. You remember the story of Ruth, how that took place. Ruth married, and the husband she married, Boaz, took care of her mother-in-law, who was widowed. It was God's plan for caring for people who were in circumstances that are difficult. Okay, now we see something about God. God is always looking out for people who need protection and help. He talked about it before with a woman who's been tossed around. Now he talks about it again with a woman whose future might be insecure if her husband is suddenly killed, even in the betrothal and then in the marriage. God made a promise to his people, I will provide for you. How important is it for God to keep his promises? Here you see he gives a piece of legislation that says, I will provide for you. So even if you get married to someone and they try to draft him into service before you have a child that secures your land and your future, I will make a provision that allows you that safety and that security. There's a lot of anxiety that comes to us whenever we look at the future and the uncertainty that's around. We don't have this kind of land holding. But it really is important for all of us to understand that God has made a promise to every person that surrenders their life to him, I will take care of you. That's his promise. All he asks of us is to live the way he tells us to live and to trust that he's going to keep his word with us. God's promise is like gold to us. It's not that he makes that promise to us and then he does whatever he wants. He makes that promise to us and he keeps it. But he can only keep that promise to us if we're faithful to be his people. If we get outside the bounds of what he wants and begins to try to manipulate our own way to secure our future financially or any other way, then we get outside of the provision that God makes. The most important thing you do is remember that God is at work all the time to fulfill the promise he's made, I will provide for you. All these laws given in the Old Testament are God's will for us. This is what I want. And God is at work in the people around you who belong to him to make sure that these come to pass. What God shows us is his heart. You are my child. I will provide for you. God's concern is echoed in the New Testament. When Jesus was talking to his own disciples, he said, look around you at the world. You see flowers and how beautiful they are. And you can go by. There's a place on one of the streets where I run that has peonies and they just come up and they're white and they just bloom and bloom and bloom and fall over and the leaves all and the flower petals all go somewhere else and wash down the drain. But for some time period, they're just snow white and beautiful. And what Jesus said was, you see how much I work to make sure that things that are here today and gone tomorrow are cared for? How much more precious are you to me than these flowers? Here is the deal. Seek first my rule over your life. Make sure every day you start by saying, Jesus, you're in charge of me. Tell me how to live with people around me. Tell me how to manage my finances. Telling me how to manage my time. Show me how to treat the people there. Do your work. Make sure that you're doing what I tell you to do. Seek above all else in your life obedience to me. And I will provide every need that you have. If your needs aren't met, one of two things are happening to you. One is, God is not in charge of your life and you need to straighten that out. Or two, the provision hadn't come yet. Because he's made a promise. That's his promise. And if God breaks his promise to you, then the whole world knows that God is not holy, he is not honest, and he's not reliable. God will keep his promise. His provision for us doesn't mean he gives everything to us that we ask for or that we want or that we desire, but that he will give us what is necessary for us. God shows us in the Old Testament that his concern is to make sure that the people who need his help, his people, receive it. Let's pray. So God, we see your nature and character. And we know that if you are in charge of our lives, these are two things that should be characteristic of us. Our concern for people who can't help themselves and our concern for people who are in need. You haven't told us what to do about all these situations, but in every one of them, we know that you will. For you are the Lord, the ruler of heaven and earth. Teach us to be your people. Amen.